Contemplation

In an unexpected aside to the sensational trial brought against The Greasy Weasels heavy metal rock band and their label, Barf Records, information has been revealed that one of the teenagers actually survived the gruesome suicide attempt. After a shotgun blast obliterated his jaw and much of his face, the young man was rushed to a hospital, where surgeons miraculously stopped the bleeding and reassembled his ravaged, wrecked, and grotesquely mutilated face

Utilizing experimental microsurgical techniques, titanium wire was employed to return bone fragments and flesh to a close approximation of their original positions. Claiming success after the 34-hour operation, the team said more surgery would undoubtedly be needed

In another story that has received a great deal of attention lately, Doctor Anastasia Dark, the notorious Russian-American physician known as The Suicide Czar, has been unexpectedly released from prison after his lawyer successfully argued that legal irregularities prevented the doctor from receiving a fair trial. The date for a new hearing is yet to be set