MY HELL

Alone I sit, and where I sits an empty room

I might just pick up drinking to pick up something to do

I'm saying to fill this void will need something more than liquor

Cause once it leaves my liver the pain always resumes

Welcome to my hell

I will embrace you

Cause I would never try to disassemble or erase you

I put up all these walls as boundaries but you would phase through

So now I'm in the backrooms

I didn't choose to fail or that I had to

This music business sucks it's feels like a mental vacuum

Keep it real or keep your distance with a round of applause

It's a spectacle my back to the wall

I was waiting for the pain but it isn't taking long

To find an explanation doesn't take a crystal ball

And I was fucking raised in a state of mental anguish

No one could relate to me and to top it off they'd hate my songs

What am I doing wrong, let me take a hit from this gravity bong tragedies gone

It's not a parody dawg it's my life and I fucking live it

Amongst the demons, the critics, the fans and all the crickets, acidic

Alone I sit, and where I sits an empty room

I might just pick up drinking to pick up something to do

I'm saying to fill this void will need something more than liquor

Cause once it leaves my liver the pain always resumes

Welcome to my hell

I'm back in business

It ain't about the cashflow

I rap because I've lived this

Reenacting back when I was laughed at in the class of misfits

I don't know where I fit in

Never had a grasp on any kinship

I focus on tasks when the goings get bad

My mind is my existence

Crystal vision, gift of gab, it's all intrinsic

So why am I sad?

I was waiting for the pain but it isn't taking long

To find an explanation doesn't take a crystal ball

And I was fucking raised in a state of mental anguish

No one could relate to me and to top it off they'd hate my songs

What am I doing wrong, let me take my thoughts to that of a song, that'll be hard

God damn they'll have to applaud cause I know what I invented

From my taste to my ways I'm bound to this profession

It's my obsession

Pain my only muse

I listen for it painstakingly in this room

The pain is norming it begs to be concluded

While the ecstasy that absorbs me in let's me in game consumed

So this question begs me true

Is this feeling normal or am I the chosen few where, um

The bitter mornings such a tasteless bitter view

All while the darkness is absorbing me, I would hate to be a loser

Welcome to my future

Welcome to my hell

Welcome to my hell

This isn't fun as math class

Cause the answers are ambiguous the questions laughed at

Welcome to my hell

Welcome to my hell, the present

Furthermore my mind's the NASDAQ

Fluctuating up and down just like the poor or middle class

Welcome to my hell, succumbed to dry spells

Worse than Niagra Falls if it was transported to the Sahara

The Grand Canyon has mirages, told me to travel more

I ended up in Las Vegas ready to empty my pockets more

This is me flaunting more

My downward spiral should be analyzed by scholars on why we should not be in college

Here comes the rapture towards the faintly acting lads

Who think this is as easy as some acting porn

This ain't attracting whore my life is far from glamorous

I started as a star and then I burned out like California

This life is bad I told ya

And Long Island is just a breeding grounds for company

In the corporate sense, not money

This independence runs me, scraping for little money

God forbid you have a dream I hope that you get lucky

No one wants you to succeed unless you fucking butt tease

So now my image involves the LGBTQIA+ needs

One day I will be something and I am sure of it

But reassurance loves me when I thought about being nothing

This cold hard liquor crumbles me

Not like a cookie but the breadwinners a yeast infection looking for stale 20 somethings

Not like my generation, they stay on Tik-Tok

I watch my time go bye bye

This mobile porno motherfucks me

This is a dumpster fire

My only fans are these firefighters saving me from these smoke and mirrors

God, how do I think clearer?

There's something wrong with ya, dude