Whodunnit

WAS IT THE GIRL WITH THE SLINKY SLIT SKIRT

WITH THE JOURNALIST BOYFRIEND DIGGIN DIRT

WAS IT THE CHICK WITH THE MILLIONAIRE

CAN’T HAVE BEEN HER MORE THAN ENOUGH TO SHARE

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WAS IT THE BEAU IN THE BENTLY CAR

WHO WAS LURED BY THE GIRL WITH THE NASTY SCAR

OR WAS IT THE HEAVIES ON THE RIGHT

COULD HAVE BEEN THEY WERE THERE THAT NIGHT

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WAS IT THE UNRELIABLE BANKER

WHO WAS A RUBBER FETISHIST WANKER

OR WAS IT THE GLAMOROUS RETIRED WHORE

DONE BY THE DOCTOR SETTLING OLD SCORES

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WAS IT THE FARMER BEYOND THE FENCE

IN A TRADE WITH THE MAID WHO HAD LOST ALL SENSE

WAS IT THE DEBUTANTE FULL OF DESIRE

EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO WAS STOKING HER FIRE

WHODINNIT

WHO WOVE THE WEB WHO SPUN IT

YOU KNOW IT WAS THEM

THOSE MURDERING WOMEN AND MEN

AGAIN AND AGAIN

WHODUNNIT

WAS IT THOSE AUNTS IN THE COUNTRY HOUSE

CERTAINLY THEM WITHOUT A DOUBT

CAUSE OF THE DAUGHTER WHO SAW TOO MUCH

OF THE SON OF THE BLIND MAN WITH A CRUTCH

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OR MAYBE THE MAJOR WITH THE PROSTHETIC ARM

OR THE RAMBLING GAMBLER OOZING CHARM

COULD HAVE BEEN THE MAN FROM THE GOVERNMENT

WHO KNEW EVERYONE’S VIEWS AND WHAT THEY MEANT

WHODUNNIT

WHO WOVE THE WEB WHO SPUN IT

YOU KNOW IT WAS THEM

THOSE MURDERING WOMEN AND MEN

AGAIN AND AGAIN

WHODUNNIT

WAS IT THE LAWYER OUT ON THE RAMPARTS

WHO PUSHED THE SHY WAITRESS WHO’D BROKEN HIS DARK HEART

WAS IT THE MILKMAN WITH HIS SUSPICIOUS BOTTLES

OR THE VILLAGE POTTER WITH HIS SKIN STRANGELY MOTTLED

WAS IT THE PRIEST WHO UNLEASHED THE BEAST

AFTER THE FEAST TO CELEBRATE YEAST

WAS IT THE GIGALO WITH HIS TWIRLING CANE

WHO DROVE THE LOVELY HEIRESS QUITE INSANE

WHO TREATED HERSELF WITH A SLUG IN THE BRAIN

JUST BEFORE SHE WENT UNDER THE LAST TRAIN

WHODINNIT

WHO WOVE THE WEB WHO SPUN IT

YOU KNOW IT WAS THEM

THOSE MURDERING WOMEN AND MEN

AGAIN AND AGAIN

WHODUNNIT

WAS IT THE CLOWN WITH THE SCARY SMILE

WHO MADE THE KIDS AT THE PARTY RUN FOR MILES

AND WHAT POSSESSED THE SEAMSTRESS WHO SOWED DISTRESS

AND CAUSED THE HANDICAPPED CAPTAIN TO CONFESS

IMPROV FROM PETE AND ARTHUR….

WHODUNNIT