Am I chasing it still

Am I jaded, laying awake while I wonder still

Wonder where I stand with my passion, do I want it still

Am I just tired and uninspired, or something else

Could it be this job, relationships, or is it myself

What I want to be, I couldn't tell ya

I figured I'd never make it to twenty-five

I mumble we still alive, momma we sleep deprived

Nine to five keep me dry

Momma I'm trying, but I don't think I can live this life

The life of an artist, starving, but fighting, but dead inside

Momma I swear I'm trying, but life keep passing by

**** is still dying, the government take my pride

Speed up and jeopardize, my memories emphasize

Filled with nostalgia, but in the prison, I'm present, nah

Callous and cauterize, ain't nothing behind these eyes

Waiting to flourish, waiting for purpose

Waiting for shit to change, I done feed the purpose on purpose

Hungry and malnourished

I just want to be heard, but I'm screaming it isn't working

It feels likes these words worthless

I'm on the edge of the world, if I jump would I reach the surface

Searching for the smile, probably find it in a purchase

Searching for me, but it's been a minute since I'd hear him

Probably won't recognize him anyway, I'm uncertain

Can't remember the face, when I see him my eyes blurring

Surfing on the frustration, swept away under the current

I just want my baby, my baby want something else

I don't fit the description, maybe this isn't good for my health

My intention missing, my passion collecting dust on the shelf

I could feel the distance, a pendulum spinning, my skin melting

Lost in translation, my message is on delivered

I read the receipts, a piece of mind, you overcharge a ****

I'm broke, bitch

God doing his bidding when I trust the process

Regardless, end of the day I keep hope, bitch

Where we going, we spend our life not knowing, but we'll figure it out

It's our first time living, itch in the figure of doubt

We make it out, two count

Spent my days chasing the spaces I wasn't wanted

Trying to prove I'm worthy, hurting deep in this function

Giving something for nothing, rushing to complete me cause I wasn't

Hoping somebody see me running, then come for the numbness

Hope someone believe me when I tell them I grown

Best believe I never should have went through that phone

Seen some shit I can't forgive and can't forget on my own

Tryna forget I need a crutch, and now I'm drinking alone

Tryna forget I look for crutches like I'm accident prone

Happiness gone, granny called and tell him pass me the phone

Baby boy, I'm twenty-five, but still her baby at heart

She see a toddler when she see me, see the light in the dark

All the strife in my heart, a youngin' I was swimming with sharks

Now I float, bitch

Keep my dream of making it far, constantly palms kissing

I'm missing the talk to god, my intuition is flawed

Expect the worse out of yall, can't disappoint me if I saw it

Come up from a mile and a half

From my own go to war, and you **** dodging the draft

None of this shit adding up, but I was never good at math

Why you think I'm hopping factories, fuck school

Since I was a youngin' was always bucking, like fuck rules

Fuck me, then fuck you too, always something to prove

Who nuts bigger, who run quicker, fucking fool

Never even thought I'd see a day past twenty-two

So I ain't give a fuck about nothing, now I suffer

Just need a blunt or two, can't run so we numb it

Heart bleeding, I patch it up with a hundred

Ben Franklin and Ben's nurse in a world

He flip that frown when he around, he make the struggle reverse

I need a bag, but I'm broke, bitch

God doing his bidding when I trust the process

Regardless, end of the day I keep hope, bitch

Where we going, we spend our life not knowing, but we'll figure it out

It's our first time living, itch in the figure of doubt

We make it out, together