Ed was at the end of his rope, an expression he detested

"There is no rope!" he would scream at the laughing walls

"There is only the end"

"No hope, no rope

Ending is better than mending

Doors of perception, windows of opportunity

These are illusions, like the killing floor"

Ed spoke in a squeaky whiny voice

With perhaps a slight tinge of glee

But this was only because

He couldn't be bothered to try to develop

A manner of speaking that truly reflected his mood

"This is a vacuum, there is no air in this room

Despair is no fun anymore

Nihilism knocked three times on the ceiling

But the rosy fingers of dawn always inserted themselves

In the nose of unfulfilled promises"

"Angels sang Heysanna Hosanna

Paralyzed prima-donnas danced in the streets all day

But when darkness came, everybody went home

"I was ready, everyone else was asleep

And while it may have been a relief

To see that I was right all along

Here I am still: alone and trapped

Awaiting the endless end

"And I can turn it all around

And laugh at it and laugh at myself

I can laugh louder than the walls

The halls, the waterfalls

Louder than Charles de Gaul or Fulton Mall

But I don't know what I'm laughing at

I don't know just what I think is so goddamn funny"

"I don't know why I don't just shut up

And give up and lay down and die

What do I have to complain about anyway?

Ed asked his Picasso, "I'm a millionaire!"

This wasn't exactly true

Ed's Picasso was an obvious forgery

His three Rothkos had just been singled out

In an article in Artforum entitled

"The three most insignificant paintings of Mark Rothko"

And his Barbara Kruegers had been irreparably damaged

By Rein Sanction and a few other bands from Gainesville

That refused to recognize the value of art

"Come to think of it," Ed mused to the laminated roadkill coffee table

That he had purchased when times had seemed slightly less bleak

"Come to think of it, not only does art have no intrinsic value

But my collection has no extrinsic value either

I know I'm not a millionaire, but that's no reason to complain"

"There is no reason to complain

There is no reason to do anything

I don't believe in reason

Objective reality, or collective farming"

"I don't believe in public speaking

Which is another reason why I'm here alone

I don't believe in life or death, I would kill myself

But I don't believe in suicide"

Ed put on a red shirt and took a quick walk around the block

While whistling softly to himself

He reentered his apartment screaming

"There is no life on this planet!

Jehovah-One replaced all life with machinery five centuries ago

The so-called industrial revolution was just another hoax

And we all fell for it, 'cause we were all programmed to

Even I fell for it, I believe in the steam engine

Even though I don't believe in anything

"Logical inconsistency is the Mr. Bubble I bathe in

Each and every evening, except for yesterday evening

When I rollerbladed over to the Masonic temple

To play pinochle with Pope John Paul the First"

"I really had no choice in the matter"

"Ed certainly could go on and on, and he did

And he would, and he will

Until you or I or somebody does something about it"

Senator Sterno of Louisiana announced

Over closed circuit television

"And as long as he continues to pontificate pointlessly

I will do nothing"

Ed walked away from the program feeling fortified and stapled

His brain was buzzing, the way it always did just after Jeopardy

He loaded up the microbus with atlases and poseidons

And headed for Pope county

"I've had it"

He sang, "I've had it with puns, alliteration

Russian literature, Italian neorealism

Meaningless cross references and laundry lists of nonsense

I shall dive without a license, without clothing

Without direction and if I make it to Arkansas, fine

And if I'm running late, if I'm running a numbers game

It doesn't matter, I shall keep on running

"Yes, this is the answer, this is the ending

I shall keep on running, because a body in motion

Tends to stay emotional, and it's better to feel

Pain is better than emptiness

Emptiness is better than nothing

And nothing is better than this"