The Honeymoon Is Over

When your husband treats you like a piece of dirt

When you find a purple lipstick on his shirt

Then my dear, it's clear the honeymoon is over

And you better be on the alert

When your wife decides that she should wear the pants

When she gets your goat each time she gets the chance

Then my dear, it's clear the honeymoon is over

And you'd better search for some romance!

Time you saw your old trusty lawyer

Ask him whether

You should find another nest to feather

When your husband suddenly becomes the swell

When your wife is bored by every joke you tell

Then my dear, it's clear the honeymoon is over

And you may as well

Pack up, move out

Tell her (tell him)

"Darling, fare thee well"

Time you saw your old trusty lawyer

Ask him whether

You should find another nest to feather

When your husband starts to play cherchez la femme

When your wife is always ready to condemn

Then my dear, it's clear the honeymoon is over

And you may as well

Play the scene out

Make your exit

Hit the climax

Pull the curtain

Pack up

Move out

Tell him (tell her)

"Darling, together forever

Looks more like it's never

Fare thee well

Go to hell!"