Out Into the Snow

I've been living in a room where the rafters shook Where the trains pass through the moonlight Dusts rain down, cover my books Even the bricks crumble to the floor in a landslide Remember the caller from a pay phone somewhere In the heart, broken, drunk Muffled voices and shattered glasses Toasted all the heads that were not yet hung Yours was getting low So I stepped out into the snow Cut through the car wash across the street Where a man cleaned the salt from his tires Passed through the grocery store parking lot Where open hands bummed nickels for fires They sang "have you anything to keep a belly warm" On the coldest night of the year I gave my change to a bucket of steam Said he had to get the hell out of here Before he froze And I stepped out into the snow Found you flickering by lightbulbs Your new shadows swayed in the concrete Said baby it's true You get cold so you look for heat Everywhere I've been is empty and thin And swallowed by the bay Standing too low And I stepped out into the snow From the Bible, memorized in childhood Fell from your tongue to the car keys Asked me if it mattered, everything had a pattern You can't stand far enough back to see it I helped you to bed, then I washed my face Covered my hands over your kitchen sink Then I cracked the window and let some pressure escape Just in time to hear a siren scream You'd better go And I stepped into the snow Shed my clothes and killed the lights And laid in my bed staring at the rooftop This is as quiet as the city gets Shooting neon all over our cracked windshields I don't remember what happened next I'm afraid it took me by surprise The night rolled in, it felt dark and then I guess I closed my eyes Just that note And I stepped out into the snow Dreamed I was a school of fish I dreamed I was a mother nursing a child Dreamed I was the long black train Rattling through the countryside Dreamed I was reborn in a tornado closet In the mason jar's cobweb Took some time to find my way out of the basement The climb was slow And I stepped back out into the snow