Tryna keep my composure but keep getting closer to closure i leave when its over

A colder demeanor when people approach ya

A loner need noone to peek in your folder

Only gone care when they carryin ya casket

Hiding they love and they show it when you absent

Die from a drug only then they call it tragic

Nobody stop to think about how this shit even it happen

Magic but yu was right there no prayers when im bleeding

Everyone seem to disappear when you need em

It seem that im grasping at air when im reaching

It be mad dumb done caring im leaving

Grieving but tryna be peaceful and smile

Frequently high cause i need to be blind

And be numb to outrun shit i easily find

Questions and urges im keeping inside

Like the purpose of earth and the meaning of life

After birth we just work then we breathe and we die

What the fuck is the worth im misreading the signs

All the time you can waste why it need to be mine

Pretend to defend your intentions

Pretentious as friends get

Endless no mention of endings

Real bonds never break some of mine just be bendin

The tension derived from all five of the senses

Sick of getting burnt finna flip no burger

Slippin and i skurt and i hit old mergers

Digging thru the dirt but i get no further

Still a word thatll get you murdered

Say it like i hate em take a life

Prayed and hoped throughout the day and night

That i would make it out or god would make it right

Tried to sell my soul the devil never gave a price

Found it hard to adjust with a arm full of cuts

Jus awful its rough when your hearts in your guts

Plus loves as powerful and harmful as drugs

Im partially nuts from the horriblest stuff

What i went thru is marvel eventful and touching

Fall and get up with no senzu or nothing

I argue enough with you end this discussion

I start to give up till i went and found something

That paused all the pain

Cooked i just look at stars and i gaze

Thought it was great

It was awesome

Amazed with it all for a day

But got lost in a maze

Its hard to explain

Listen i feel distant

Dissing people that im missing

Shit is different

Whatd u do in my position

Wishin i was non existent

Love is a pain that you feel in your heart

It's crazy the distance you teared us apart

Screaming to god that your tired of trying

What can you want when you dying inside

And dont let this get to yu

But yu messing up my mood

This depression nothing new

Cant accept the fuckin truth

Im still broken over you

And i know thats no excuse

My feelings wont diffuse

Confused as what im posed to do

Dude why do i feel like this

Feeling like life is

Pointless or priceless

Thought it was quite rich

Choices i might quit

Caught in a crisis

Flawed but im righteous

Distraught when i write shit

Ive been

Been been

Been at bat for blast for you changed for you jeez

Never asked you to actually pray for me please

But you make your mistakes and thn blame it on me

Fake as tupees and its plainly to see

Be catious w who u become involved with it cuz comes up often some will come up off you

For every 1 that love u dozens cross u

Maybe im unlucky never touch a horseshoe

Fight cuz it ends so abrupt you

Really want the last thing you said to be fuck u?

Cool thas on you you gone deal with the pain

When im gone and it haunts you to hear my my name

And aint shit changed still feeling the same

Like fuck it b what could be wrong with my brain

I i warned u that im not normal

Got no remorse but i stil got morals

Opened my doors did more locks for you

Sly with the gimmicks

We could die any minute

Its obvious i need a clinic

Watch my sobriety deminish

I finally admit it

Pills had lessened my depression and regrets i just forget them

Now im sober second guessing my decisions if theyre lessons

Sections missing from my sessions

I been distant just to stress it

Sex is different turned a pessimistic

Dickhead with obsessions

Now im fixing my connections

I guess im getting revenge try to even the score

Plenty of friends you dont see anymore

Going to war with noone on your side

Sewing the scars you were trying to hide