Dick Starbuck "Porno Detective"

[Intro] [Mr. Eon] You see, it's Mr. E the one you think of It was a labor of love, cry like a dove But this ain't Prince, rhymed ever since Thoughts of the future in the past tense Her name was Loretta, wore a tight sweater Met her at a jam in the '96 winter Blunt passer, had ta harass her Brushed up against her, while I passed her Drinks she couldn't pass up, dreamin of handcuffs Told me to meet her, after the band struck Dilated eyes, peered at the thigh Peeped fingertips, went from lips to hips Mr. E rock shows, this she didn't know It was this honky, who made her say ho No way she sayin no, leave the disco Right after Mi rocks all stereos After 2nd Ave., ass I gotta have Take jacket/coat, pour the beer on draft One or the other, just to uncover Just this night, Mr. E be the lover Now lets play doctor, or should I say dentist? I be Starbuck, you the dental hygenist First brush your teeth, then rinse please Orally like Monica Lewinsky Since she sees these testes She's guarnateed to see these trees It was an odd combo, like cappucino And Clam's casino and breakfast in Reno [Chorus: Woman and Mr. Eon] [Woman] Mr. E I know you wanna be with me [Mr. E] Girlfriend, you better that thought to an end [Woman] You and me, baby, we cold roll real tight [Mr. E] One night is one night, that don't make it right [Woman] We shared drinks and stuff, I let you touch the stuff Then an hour later it was me you clutched [Mr. E] It's much too much, girl you gotta hush You played me in the head, now this I trust [Mr. Eon] It was crazy, didn't think that this lady Would be the one to become my baby It was a one-nighter, we shared a lighter Now this stupid Dutchess couldn't roll much tighter Months into it, still doin it Ass still chewin it, nothin could brew in it *echoes* But someone from the past, addition to the cast He be the ex, I be the next To the point that I asked her, did he harass her Said it was an old flame that didn't even matter Once a college fling, it didn't mean a thing I knew that this was the song she'd sing At her crib one day, snoop I'd play Look for evidence that would pave the way I'm Dick Starbuck she don't know the persona Porno Detective for Eve and Madonna The phone did ring, I should just forget I figure, I just let the machine get Mike's on the line at 555-3825, Eon's on a ride Days go buy, coolin with the guys, it was Loretta calling at my demise Surprised, before my eyes it played to a T It was Mike's number on the Caller ID What we had's, what he had, don't feel bad Take more than Loretta to make E sad Take the L like the Packers, see you next season Maybe next game Eon'll be cheatin [Chorus]