Miss You Hate You

Now I've debated

That my sobriety is overrated

And I want to feel intoxicated

For just a moment to escape it, I miss you

I'm feeling weighted

And it's been so long since I've been faded

I'm not trying to make this complicated

I'm proud of the life that i've created, I hate you

I miss when my eyes would dilate

And I would start to get that taste that I

Waited all day for

Settle that score, with my head on my floor

Painted my face with elation, 'til I forget contemplation

And I could vacate my mind, copy paste a time

Where I was funny, loud, pretty, stupid, forgetful, regretful

False sense of serenity, identity, I was my only enemy

But damn, did it feel good

And I miss you

Now I've debated

That my sobriety is overrated

And I want to feel intoxicated

For just a moment to escape it, I miss you

I'm feeling weighted

And it's been so long since I've been faded

I'm not trying to make this complicated

I'm proud of the life that i've created, I hate you

(Miss you)

(Hate you)

(Miss you)

(I hate you)

I hated when I was degraded

Two more drinks call it persuaded

It's ok, it's only fun, you're young, won't matter in the long run

Grabbed my waist and called me hun

Then it was over, it was done

And he was funny, loud, pretty, stupid, forgetful, regretful

Thoughtless decisions based on loneliness

Lowliness, my own weakness

The bottle was my only fix

(And I hate you)

Now I've debated

That my sobriety is overrated

And I want to feel intoxicated

For just a moment to escape it, I miss you

I'm feeling weighted

And it's been so long since I've been faded

I'm not trying to make this complicated

I'm proud of the life that i've created, I hate you