Somebody Has Got to Take the Blame

I infantilize my daughter

I'm controlling, I'm a pill

I micro-micromanage

I'm all up in her grill

It's called parenting

I demand that she be perfect

All that pressure, all that fuss

I'm a parenting disaster

Don't you think so?

Let's discuss

Forgive my darling mother and forget each thing she said

Put the blame where it belongs now

Squarely on my head

I'm reckless and I'm feckless

I go and get tattoos

I think it's called a tramp stamp

I can show you if you choose

No no no no no, at least she doesn't smoke like me, I smoke!

My faults are much too numerous to name

It's awful to admit, but that's the game

Somebody has got to take

Somebody has got to take

Somebody has got to take the blame

Aha, it's a single-parent family

So you both are filled with rage

Her development arrested at the pre-preverbal stage

Or it could be ADHD, ADD or STDs

I suggest that you try ritalin and yoga and soy cheese

Soy cheese?

This is asinine

She's functionally unpunctual, she's robbed us and she's rude

Excuse me, es mi hija, so perder, la attitude!

She's intelligent

Ya hear that?

But unfocused, barely there

I think she smokes the ganja

She does not!

I don't?

I swear!

She's wasting her potential just the same

It's not her fault if she's too bright to tame

But somebody has got to take

Somebody has got to take

Somebody has got to take the

Enough with all the blaming and the shaming, no, you hush!

The armchair, analyzing and the psycho babble mush

I'm a teacher, I should reach her

So the failure here is mine

She's bright and she's articulate

Her heart and mind are fine

In all this finger-pointing, this crusade

No one thought to check her file

To see she struggled for a while

Since the seventh grade

The year dad passed away

Just say died, he died

Oh honey, I've been thoughtless and for years

I never thought your anger stood for tears

It's clear to me I have to take the

Listen, do we have to do this now?

I'd rather not discuss it, anyhow

Is high school counselor BS all the same?

'Cause nobody has got to take the blame

Let's wrap this up

Dr. Aaron, I appreciate all the feedback

From now on, I'm going to be really good

But somebody has got to take the blame!

Oh, can it, Kevin!