Woman goes to heaven, it's not important when

'Cause as soon as she arrives, God has to send her down again

'You've got an extra five years to clean up after men'

'I mean no disrespect, God, but you better make it ten'

Well, if heaven's an improvement, won't mind the extra squeeze

I've got a few more birds down there after losing bees

Trying to lose their bees...

So don't be shocked who queue-jumps

Or who just calmly waits

A certain type of behaviour

The guest list just creates

No time for lively discussion

No time for televised debates

The well-meaning soon become well meant

It's the hard sell or hell at the gates, the gates

Alcoholic finds himself outside the pearly gates

'I've only got one worry God, a few outstanding slates'

'Any tab you used to have's been passed to so called mates'

And after they've paid-up, they're off to the land of empty crates

Heaven is a glass, neither half empty nor half full

So do us all a favour, God, and give that thing a pull

Give that thing a pull...

Model turns up hours late, he had to get it right

'If you're gonna look cool in heaven, wear something more than white'

Vanity's close to arrogance, just slightly more polite

Fashion show a jumble sale at a slightly different height

At a slightly different height...