My Autobiography

I know you and I'll agree What this world needs is a lot more me Well, I have got the remedy Gonna write my autobiography I've led a fascinating life Had a husband and a wife But you will truly be amazed At just how humble I have stayed Enough about me, let's talk about you What do you think of me? You must feel such gratitude That you will get to read my autobiography My life doesn't have a very good plot Guess I'll have to lie a lot Should be easy to make things up There's no one left to call my bluff A lot of my old friends have passed on The rest did drugs and their memory's gone So I'll write my own history In my autobiography I'll say I slept with a Kennedy Don't remember which one They all looked the same to me Or they did when we got done Maybe they'll film it for TV I wonder who they'll cast as me Should be somebody I look like Sigourney Weaver'd be all right Gonna be hard to deal with fame Once the whole world knows my name But I'll stay humble and grateful To all the little people like you A thousand pages more of me And all I've said and done It will be my legacy And that's just volume one Of my autobiography