Been Thru (feat. Tha Joint)

It feels like a drought, followed by a dry spell

Followed by a monsoon of Ls

Wish I could light the lah and fly high as heaven and stay hot

But lately I been cold as hell

Feeling low as lanes in the gutter

My mind filled with clutter

I just can\'t select all delete

Too many windows open on my screen

I wish I could call the team

But at the end of the convo

Still I gotta deal with me

Been taking long walks just to clear my head

But can\'t cause I gotta get back on the clock

And the chick I\'m talking to wanna ride my cock

But my confidence so low

I fuck around and block

my own shit

How could I define this spot

And find the spark that could help identify the plot

Where the millionaires was made off the dying stock in depression and then all of the relying stops

I guess pressure makes diamonds so the mining starts

Valleys help you appreciate the highest tops

At my lowest point, I could look to the sky say why

Or dig for the finest rocks

In my mind

HOOK

Have you any idea what I been thru?

Nah I don\'t think you do

You don\'t know about the horror or the stress

or the drama or the shit I gotta overcome and conquer

What you know about my nightmares?

I open my eyes and they right there

Yeah they look like a nice pair

But I bet you couldn\'t stand a second in these Nike airs

Laundry list of habits

Outdated patterns I need to clean up

Ride the highs til I don’t find a reason to re-up

We up

But it feels like gravity’s getting heavier

Times that I pulled myself off the ground

I deserve a medal bruh

Believe it

Though you didn’t see it, you can feel it

The fire from my desires came with a side of demons

Inside I would confide in my own fears of

Why I’m alive?

If I find out will I align?

Lil outta my mind I thought you knew that

They say he need to tighten his screws

Why would I do that?

I may not be well

But it ain’t Hell at least

Inhaling trees

Let conditioning put a spell on me

Heal a heavy heart that started as my pedigree

But I don’t take my own advice so what’s it do to better me?

Am I really trying?

Or am I just re-living the same version while the times moving ahead of me

I don’t talk about my feelings much

I often feel like I reveal too much

So I often conceal em up

 Knowing that the feeling sucks

Besides there’s nobody alive I could really trust 

That makes me feel it’s safe to spill my guts like a Philly Dutch

It’s really tough

It’s like my soul is broken

This is poetry in motion I was sitting on the J when I had wrote this

Train of thought delayed but tunnel vision kept me focus

During times I didn’t know where I was going 

I used to be more outgoing

You know, a different person

But you ain’t worth the whole song, so take the introversion 

I used to sip the bourbon when I felt a little nervous 

Now I’m scripting verses working towards a bigger purpose

I’m not quite where I wanna be yet

But that’s alright cuz imma get there

I’ve seen a lot of things you haven’t seen yet

But take it from me cuz I been there 

HOOK