On Hold

I am back here once again

In the mist, In the mist without sight

Thought I fought my way back

Now I'm afraid, I'm afraid to lose hope

Will I ever be the man

In control, in control of his world?

Open wounds that will not heal

Pull me back, pull me back inside

And I, I was always on the side

Of conformities and pride

Had no shelter from the rain

And I, I was always on the side

So I kept my little lie

To be safe from what may come

To be lonely inside of my thoughts

A state that I tend to avoid

But if I can't get to them I think no one can

Moving forward nonetheless

I'm afraid this is how I've become

How can I sort it out, when I don't even know what I'm looking for?

If I only knew, then at least I could deal with it

I don't even have a plan

On how to move forward from here

And I, I was always on the side

Of conformities and pride

Had no shelter from the rain

And I, I was always on the side

So I kept my little lie

To be safe from what may come

All my life is on hold

In this moment

There's nothing here but darkness

My life is on hold

It's on hold

Until I've figured out this maze

I hold my breath and count to ten

Maybe then it will all go away

Distraction strategies may work

But only, only for so long

I, I was always on the side

Of conformities and pride

Had no shelter from the rain

I, I was always on the side

So I kept my little lie

To be safe from what may come - come

And I, I was always on the side

Of conformities and pride

Had no shelter from the rain

My life is on hold

In this moment

There is nothing here but darkness

My life is on hold

It's on hold

Until I've figured out this maze

My life is on hold

In this moment

There is nothing here but darkness

My life is on hold

It's on hold

Until I've figured out this maze