11 39 in the morning

9 21 I was mourning over a phone call

From a friend of mine

I usually don't pick up the phone

I feel I'm in safe company when alone

I feel I'm my best self when I'm alone

I feel I don't need help when I'm alone

Rather do it by myself but then I'm a

I don't feel like feeling anything

I tried to be an alcoholic

But it didn't work

Cause I couldn't commit

It didn't numb anything it just made me feel sick

Is this depression

Just had casual sex

No connection

Tried to penetrate her vigina

No erection

I'm a bisexual now

I asked a question

Unbalance chemicals in my brain

100mg of Zoloft to maintain

Buspirone cause I'm angsty

Only place that I can vent safely

Why am I like this

Could it be a lack of religion

Been years since I asked for forgiveness

Still not ready to vent the trauma that I witness

But when I am I hope you listen

When I was 25 I didn't think suicide was selfish

Like who the fuck are you to tell me I should be alive like

You don't know me

You don't know my fucking life like

Not up to you if I live or if I die

I have proof in due time that things get better

Well at least things don't stay forever

Willis Smith Jr. I hope you live forever

Mike Pilato

Pops

I want to thank you for letting me into your home

Chris

Thank you for letting me into your family

Forever grateful

Carol Lane

Mom

John I'm sorry

I love Mommy

I love you Dad

I love all yall