The Way Women Talk

It's hard to communicate with you women

Y'all communicate with each other in too many ways we can't keep up

Two girls, y'all can just look at each other

Not say one word, have an entire conversation

Happening somewhere right now

Y'all can hit that pitch too, can't you ladies?

That really high, squeaky pitch that only girls and dogs can hear

'Cause one time I caught my wife and her friend talking about me

And I said, "What'd you say?" and they both went, "Ooh, nothing"

The dog went, "Woof! You better take me for a walk, Henry, bless your heart"

And then you women made up your own language

Y'all can take a word and repeat it

And somehow that'll change the meaning of the word

My wife will go, "Yeah, we're going shopping

But don't worry, we're not going shopping-shopping"

Every female in this room knows what that means, don't you?

Every woman out there has said this too

"I like them, but I don't like them-like them

I'll go out with them, but I won't go out-out

I kissed them, but it wasn't a kiss-kiss"

I don't make it up, ladies, I just write it down

Because guys don't talk this way

My buddy did though, years ago, kind of freaked me out

I told him I went on a date, and he went, "Really?

Was it a date-date?"

Yeah, it was a date-date, I spent money-money

I didn't get a kiss-kiss, now I'm piss-pissed

I'm teasing, ladies, I make a lot of jokes about y'all

But we can't live without you

There's no way, we can't, it's great

Yeah, you can clap for the ladies, yeah, you can clap

It's hard though, man, we're all married

I mean, all my buddies are married, I was the last one, so I won