Can't stop if I meant to

I don't really got nobody I can vent to

I don't trust no one, never meant to

You don't know what the fuck that I've been through

I got so many problems

Money won't solve 'em

They keep on pilin'

Write down a list of my options

Ok I got it, homie just watch it

So I got sick and tired of playing the victim card

They all acted, I don't really give a shit regardless

My dark past is what made me heartless

Money came and they went and vomit

Wanted a friend but they wanted to profit

Look for a snake in the grass in a outfit

I'll be alone when I rest in my coffin

Was searching for God and it gave me a complex

I set it off when I started

No it's not rap motherfucker, it's arson

I was alone on my own with no options

Hiding in 'go' 'cause I know that they watching

I seen an angel that fell

Danced with the devil and reveling infinite hell

It's a benevolent spell

Was lost in the rise in the way that I fell

Loving the ghost in the shell

When will I wake up from infinite hell?

Caught in a cycle, been stuck in a cell

Trapped in my mind, I been begging for help

But nobody will save me, I'm saving myself

Why am I caught in the past?

All of the questions I ask

All the thoughts in my head are intrusive

They just keep on looping and looping and looping

I'm getting so sick of this game

Money came in with the fame

Everybody wanna be a buddy when you got something that they think they can gain

Fuck it, I know it's a shame

I got a hole in my chest

I got ahold of my ego and put it in check

All in my head

I tell myself that I honestly think I'm better off dead

I live a life of regret

Running from problems I don't understand

I know the answers, they're all in my head

So why can't I fix it, I'll live it again

I tell myself my problems are valid, to bottle it in

Take life on the chin, the pain within

Will make you a man

The toxic cycle is part of the plan

Just do it again

I wanna learn and grow from it

Gave a lot of myself up

Got nothing back I can show for it

You rarely get to see a tree grow

But that doesn't mean it ain't growing for you

And the grass always seems green

Until you get up close and see the rodents in it

Dirt on my name, I grow roses with it

They've built a cage, couldn't hold me in it

Got on my way and got back in the game

Now my focus' insane and I'm not feeling hopeless

Caught in the ocean and barely floating

I started to swim and then started to notice

The light at the start of the coast is approaching

And I just gotta be the one to approach it