Eyes have been affixed upon the ceiling for a minute

I can tell you're acting different, is it me or just the distance?

'Cause I moved across the country, tryna run from who I was

And I'll reduce myself to nothing, hopes of maybe feeling something

Now I'm lost

Maybe I should take a step back, I've been killing myself at what cost

I've been working like a dog, got it from my dad, do it for my mom

I need to reach out, ever since I left

Homie and my brother don't talk

I've been acting like a cunt, but I'm always gonna blame it on a rut

Lying awake

Feeling like my synapses are setting ablaze

Falling out of love with everything that I create

I take one step forward just to fall onto my face

I don't believe I can be saved

I'm lost and so conflicted, this loneliness is sinking

The only thing I have consistent in my life's addiction

Thought I lost my mind, but I lost my attentiveness

I made you cry because I swore this time would be different

These razor blades are bloody, looks like my sleeves are bleeding

I'm fucking lost, looking to God, trying to fix this feeling

These thoughts don't come in waves, rather shower me lightly

They're so seductive in nature, it's like they're trying to invite me

I'm so indecisive, I just don't know what I want

And I got zero restraint, I just don't know when to stop

If you give me an escape, then I'll give you what you want

But you keep tearing me down, I think I've given enough

I do this shit to myself, I'm growing sick and deranged

I spent twenty whole years slowly rotting my brain

The body will follow, cut off the head of the snake

I wanna kill myself, but I don't have what it takes

Lying awake

Feeling like my synapses are setting ablaze

Falling out of love with everything that I create

I take one step forward just to fall onto my face

I don't believe I can be saved