Terms and Conditions

These are the terms and conditions for living in the UK First abandon kindness, it's a fool's game Oh, it's a shame you went to state school in the first place That'll keep you two steps down in the rat race You need to learn to hate America Russia Climate change China, rich cunts and poor cunts The weather and the tax rates All the fuckers telling you to isolate Labour and the Liberals and the Greens and the Tory state Feminism, snowflakes The EDL Hate everyone and everything 'til you can't even stand yourself Hate the fact you need money Hate all those who want money Hate the fucking game and the taste for wealth And find love In beer and drugs and crime The glory days before the others all arrived Seek pride in your nation's contribution in the war Watch films about soldiers, cry at what they died for A fuck ton of corruption in the Houses and the courts Great British Arse that soares Right before it shits all over its own people in hoardes In education, policy Tooth, and claw And then somewhere Between the crackheads and the lords The people who believe 'em And the police force Is a most glorious nation of pride and patience No, I'm only joking, of course We don't smile too much around 'ere, love Wipe it off your face Our terms and conditions consist of hate Part two of the UK's terms and conditions For all but the wealthy and the first class citizens To anyone poor or born outside of Britain You must follow the following conditions, yes? Okay so what you're saying is that the rules don't apply To anyone with a winning lottery ticket as a bloodline No, the fact is, in practice, the rules do apply With the exception of taxes and COVID guidelines Amongst other things, you know Murder Lies With money, there's no such a thing as a crime! Okay, so what you're saying is your conditions is money making? No, not money making, money taking! Money taking? Yes, money taking After that, money saving Placing said money in savings So greed? Not greed, aspirations, see! Aspirations for those with a first class degree Why, of course! And a delectable family tree Your conditions favour the aristocracy It's the equivalent to sitting in a stadium seat Stand up, for a better view The guy behind can't see Basically Your Ts and Cs mean liberty But freedom doesn't recognise poverty Oh, shit So, smile, smile, smile 'Cause you have much to be thankful for These terms and conditions were Never truly yours For the taking Did you have me mistaken, when you came to this country half way? With the silly little dreams, of a child half-baked And the mind of an animal scrounging for bait Did you forget about me? It seems you did I am the fucking man I decide who lives and dies You are nothing But the blood between my eyes And I decree with each part of me That you are doomed for all of time To revoke my spell Sans protests? Please, step in line