I fought myself to take time to feel

To take time to breathe

I'd been counting my teeth

Cut my hands on cold air trying to push it away

I taught myself long ago to harden my shell– let nobody know the things that are mine to keep

And now I've noticed the ways I have folded myself into patterns

And I've forced out the words and I've watched as they burn to keep you warm

If I had better mind, I might share my finds but I'm lost in thought

Brittle and out of focus are the ways I've found to live

Ceremoniously unbound

So distract me if you will

Take off my mind I might let out a part that's sometimes too deep for even me to find

Oh I wish I was more realized

But now I've noticed the ways I have folded myself into patterns

And I've forced out the words and I've watched as they burn to keep you warm

If I had better mind, I might share my finds but I'm lost I'm lost

I'm lost

Could I reason out the way

Discerning decay of the places I've stayed for too long now

It's been too long it's too long now

It's too long

Too long now

And now I've noticed the ways

I have folded myself into

Patterns