Veridian Dynamics. We're a family, just like yours. But we don't waste our time throwing leaves around. We put our family to work. We mean real work. Not just eating mush. Our Veridian Dynamic family works for every member of your family. Even the dead ones. And we're working to bring them back and copy them, in case you lose them again. We love our family, which is why we work nights, weekends, and major holidays, because that's when families should be together. Families. Yay

Hi. welcome to the family

You're here for minimum wage in exchange for your sanity

And take orders from tyrants who are stripped of all humanity

Just do your job and keep fueling your boss's vanity

Are there any questions?

Uh, yeah

Will you guys screw me on availability?

I have class in the evening and I'd like to have the energy

To stay awake in class, and even have time to study

But it's fine either way, cause I desperately need the money

Good question. Our policy is: "fuck you in the mouth."

If you need to change your schedule just give your boss a shout

He'll blatantly dismiss it, show his ass for you to kiss it

And say, "fuck you and your class, and hope to god you miss it."

Kind of figured. I was thinking I should leave this gig alone

But the job market is crappy and I still have student loans

So forget it. Right before work I'll just get really stoned

To deal with the thought that I'll probably always be a drone

Welcome, all and say goodbye to your goals!

You're here to answer phones while we harvest all your souls!

There's a Lovecraftian demon trained to rape and eat it whole!

Hope you love getting screwed and taking very little home!

Uh, pardon

Is there a chance I'll pick up slack for my manager's mistakes

With no credit, no bonus, just a dick slap to the face?

Ah, good question, and yes oh and if you want respect

You'll have to be a male or have a distracting chest

If you want to pass time we have knives in the breakroom

To stab your co-workers in the back at your convenience

When your manager's around be sure to act like he's a genius

If that doesn't work then play tonsil hockey with his penis

Yes, it'll be bleak. You'll pray to die in your sleep

And casual Fridays will be the highlights of your week

And yes, you'll feel like a caged monkey at the zoo

But somebody's got to do it, it might as well be...you