Thunder & Lightning

When I was just a young man

I was wandering in the rain

Got struck by lightning in the junk

Fell to the ground in pain

But when I woke the next morning

I witnessed something odd

My nuts were supercharged

With glowing power from the gods

They were

Thunder and lightning

Globes of massive strength and size

Thunder and lightning

Power spheres from beyond the skies

Orbs of might, made of radiant light

Thunder and lightning

I now had a new calling

I was destined to fight crime

No man could escape the justice

My meaty clackers could provide

So I bought them a little unitard

And found them a tiny cape

Then ran to the the city's toughest gang

And screamed, "There's no escape"

From the wrath of

Thunder and lightning

Jewels that fell from an angel's crown

Thunder and lightning

Rounded junk that'll take you down

Stones of war, tiny hammers of Thor

Thunder and lightning

One with the power to electrify

One with the strength to smash

First you hear that rumble, baby

And then you see the flash

My loins are filled like darkened clouds

Evil has no chance

All shall tremble before the storm

That gathers in my pants

Turns out being struck by lighting

Doesn't give you any powers

They caved my head in with a pipe

And beat me for several hours

But as I lay there half-conscious

With my nuts exposed to air

I looked up to the blackened sky

And said an ancient prayer

"Lord, if you're there

Please infuse my nuts with the power of a thousand suns"

Holy shit, you're real?

Let there be

Thunder and lightning

Acorns shot from the tree of life

Thunder and lightning

High voltage nugs lighting up the night

Mighty balls gifted from Odin's halls

Thunder and lightning

Suck 'em!