If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son

I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one

I've got the Rap Patrol on the - patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed

Rap critics that say, "He's Money, Cash -"

I'm from the hood, stupid, what type of facts are those?

If you grew up with holes in your Zapatos

You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough

I'm like, "- critics, you can kiss my whole -

If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast-forward"

Got beef with radio if I don't play they show

They don't play my hits, well, I don't give a sh-, so

Rap mags try and use my black -

So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads

I don't know what you take me as

Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has

I'm from rags to riches, -, I ain't dumb

I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

99 problems, but a b- ain't one

If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son

I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

The year is '94, in my trunk is raw

In my rearview mirror is the mother- law

Got two choices, y'all, pull over the car or (mm)

Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor

And I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake

Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case

So I pull over to the side of the road

I heard, "Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?"

"'Cause I'm young, and I'm black and my hat's real low?

Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know

Am I under arrest, or should I guess some more?"

"Well, you was doing 55 in a 54 (uh-uh)

License and registration and step out of the car

Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are"

"I ain't steppin' out of sh-, all my paper's legit"

"Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"

"Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back

And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that"

"Aren't you sharp as a tack?

You some type of lawyer or something?

Somebody important or something?"

"I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit

Enough that you won't illegally search my sh-"

"We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come"

I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

99 problems, but a b- ain't one

If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son

I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me (ah, ah)

99 problems, but a b- ain't one

If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son

I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

Now once upon a time not too long ago

A n- like myself had to strong-arm a h-

This is not a h- in the sense of havin' a p-

But a p- havin' no god- sense, try and push me

I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord

Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform

You know the type, loud as a motorbike

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

And only thing that's gon' happen is I'ma get to clappin'

And he and his boys gon' be yappin' to the Captain

And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again

Back through the system with the riff-raff again

Fiends on the floor, scratchin' again

Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin' 'em

D.A. try to give a n- shaft again

Half a mil' for bail 'cause I'm African

All because this fool was harassin' them

Tryin' to play the boy like he's saccharine

But ain't nothin' sweet 'bout how I hold my g-

I got 99 problems, bein' a b- ain't one, hit me!

99 problems, but a b- ain't one

If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son

I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

99 problems, but a b- ain't one

If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son

I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me! (Whoo! Whoo!)

Havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son

I got 99 problems, and a b- ain't one

You crazy for this one, Rick

It's your boy