I know change is coming

I'm just waiting to see it

I was wanting perfect heavenly days

No troubles, no rainy seasons

I don't like to talk about whatever struggles I'm having

Cause I don't wanna be treated like that suicidal person I was

I promise, I'm not depressed

I just wanted some of my circumstances to change

Just trying to figure it out

Maybe that's part of the problem huh

Count it all joy when you fall into various trials

Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience

But let patience

Have its perfect work that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing

That's where I failed

There was no joy and I had no patience

Instead of being thankful, I was like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind

Just a lot of time wasted

Through this God showed me the fragility of my faith

When that reality hit, I could only think about His heartbreak

Imagine being Him, loving, patient, caring and always there

And here I am doubting and questioning whether or not He's really there

So many teach that you have to go out and make a way for yourself

See what I've learned is that

You can't get out of it when it's God allowing it

Not even if you have immeasurable wealth

Money can't buy you faith and money can't buy you freedom from hardships

I thought I would move away

Thinking every last one of them would dissipate

I was foolish, tripping

Asking myself, why was that you're thinking

I was in church faithfully and reading His Word every day

But when those trials hit, I doubted and started sinking

He remains faithful yesterday, today and tomorrow

He waited for me to not only say but show that I trust

And it's not me, it's Him

I know

That paradox may not be something you can easily clutch

But these are facts

What I'm giving you is authenticity

None of this was by accident

I don't believe in serendipity

The One and Only Living God has never failed me

And He never will

I don't have to worry

Jeremiah 29:11

He already has His plans for me

And I trust His will