Hello, hello, hello, so nice to meet you

My name is tired, just look at my eyes

I'd rather be anywhere than talking to

Oh, you’ve got a dog and play golf on weekends?

Please tell me more, I love a bore

Can’t wait to be friends

Help, I think my eyes are stuck to the ceiling

They might’ve rolled out of control

Right when you mansplained your own way into a

grave of stocks and shares and pornstar martinis

Please pass a shovel and some dirt, this man’s still breathing

I called emergency services to get me

I couldn’t get a word in because he wouldn’t let me

Who said that there’s fun in conversation?

You dress it up like it’s modern day ejaculation

And a, woop, there goes my little bit of patience

You could’ve come but now this train has left the station

Goodbye, auf wiedersehen, arrivederci

No I wouldn't like your number

Please and merci, oh, have mercy on me

Can you take a hint?

Would you like a mint?

Think I need a respirator 'cause you're mouth is full of shit

I called emergency services to get me

They get a lot of calls but they know this man will end me

Who said that there’s fun in conversation?

You dress it up like it’s modern day ejaculation

And a, woop, there goes my little bit of patience

You could’ve come but now the train has left the station

You said, can we try to cut the tension?

I’m looking round the room to find the tension that you mention

Yeah, take a break from all the condescension

How you’re not a virgin is beyond my comprehension

M

D

E

M

D

E

Emma got a call on her phone tonight

From a divorcee on an E lime bike

He’s done a lot of coke in an All Bar One

Yeah, there’s someone home but the lights aren’t on

I know that she’s tired and she wants her bed

But she can’t say no to a fuckboy’s text

Lying in her shame in his unwashed sheets

A Lothario where his girlfriend sleeps

Keeps it short and sweet like he’s in a rush

Yet it’s not that deep and it’s not that fun

Screaming in his ear, can you please slow down?

'Cause there's no one here getting off right now

Off right now, off right now

Who said that there’s fun in conversation?

You dress it up like it’s modern day ejaculation

And a, woop, there goes my little bit of patience

You could’ve come but now the train has left the station

You said, can we try to cut the tension?

I’m looking round the room to find the tension that you mention

Yeah, take a break from all the condescension

How you’re not a virgin is beyond my comprehension

Okay class

Yes, Miss Davies

Shall we teach them all what we learnt in school today?

Trash equals men

That's right, and while I've got your attention

Never trust a man with a strawberry daiquiri who’s out in Canary Wharf