You wake up before the sun now

That's new

You used to fight the morning like it owed you something

Now you sit in the dark with a book you didn't used to read

And the quiet feels less like absence

And more like someone left the door open for you

You don't know when the silence became the loudest part of your day

But you stopped filling it

And started listening

You're almost thirty and you don't know where your twenties went

You remember them in flashes like a hallway you walked through too fast

The fear's still there, you just stopped letting it drive

It shows up and you look at it like "not today, I'm busy"

That used to be a panic attack

Now it's just a knock you don't answer

Something shifted when you started living for more than your own heartbeat

Funny how purpose makes the monsters smaller

You've been in rooms that changed the way you breathe

And your skin got thick but your chest cracks open every time she laughs

That wasn't the plan

But you're learning that the plan was never really yours

So take inventory

Count up what you've got and what it cost you

Take inventory

You're not who you were and that's not a loss it's a trade

The man you built from what was left

After the fire took what it wanted

Is standing in a house he made with shaking hands

And nothing's falling down

You sit on the floor more than you ever thought you would

Doing nothing with someone who needs nothing but you

And it bothers you because you think you should be building something

But you are

You just can't see it yet because it's three feet tall

And learning how to kick through water she's afraid of

You work the extra hours so the ones you love don't feel the gaps

And nobody sees that trade except the ceiling you stare at when they're sleeping

You've carried more than you were built for

And the hands that held you up weren't always yours

You know that now

You didn't used to

So take inventory

Count up what you've got and what it cost you

Take inventory

You're not who you were and that's not a loss it's a trade

The man you built from what was left

After the fire took what it wanted

Is standing in a house he made with shaking hands

And nothing's falling down

You're in the truck again

Sitting in the driveway longer than you need to

Not avoiding anything

Just letting something sit with you that doesn't have a name

You've got enough

Not everything you want for them

But everything they need

And your hands built that

Even when they wouldn't stop shaking

Your hands built that

My hands built that

I'm the man in the early dark

I'm the one who answers when nobody's asking

I'm still afraid

But I'm not going anywhere

And the voice I've been hearing in the silence

Sounds less like a stranger now

And more like the one who's been building me

This whole time

So I'll take inventory

Count up what I've got and what it cost me

Take inventory

I'm not who I was and that's not a loss it's a trade

The man I built from what was left

After the fire took what it wanted

Is standing in a house he made with shaking hands

And nothing's falling down

Nothing's falling down