The Diary of Adam and Eve: Feelings

Feelings are tumbling over feelings

Feelings I do not understand

And I am more than slightly worried

That they are getting out of hand

Sometimes they happen in my stomach

Sometimes they happen on my skin

What is the name of this condition that I am in?

If I'm objective and observant

If I can keep an even keel

I'll be the first to pin a name to

What I'm the very first to feel

I am the first to face this problem

I am the first to have this dream

How can I harness his attention?

How can I harvest his esteem?

Am I sufficiently attractive?

Should I do something with my hair?

Is there tome tidbit that will please him?

What should I wear?

What is the source of this congestion

That I must learn to rise above?

Is there a name for this condition?

Yes, there's a name

And it is "Hell"