It Never Woulda Worked Out Anyway

Oh, lighten up

Where's your sense of humor?

They're just tiny little rumors

That I started 'cause I'm lookin' out for you

Oh, settle down

I'm just a little jealous

And I'm sure those other fellas

Never once believed the lies I told were true

Like the time I told that cowboy

That you used to be a man

And the doctor you were datin'

That you hide your wedding band

And if I am responsible

For scarin' them away

You really ought to thank me

I was doin' you a favor

'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

Oh, can't you see?

The reason that I'm doin'

All the crazy things I'm doin'

Is because I really care about you, girl

And I'll admit

I go a little farther

Than I know I probably oughta

But it's all because I need you in my world

Like the time I told that lawyer

That you spent a year in jail

And the salesman you were seein'

You hang out at cheap motels

Even if I am responsible

For scarin' them away

You really ought to thank me

I was doin' you a favor

'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

I can't stand the thought of you

With anybody else

I know I've gone overboard

But I can't help myself

Like the time I told the dentist

You had seven little kids

And you doubled as a dancer

At the strip joint on the ridge

Even if I am responsible

For scarin' him away

You really ought to thank me

I was doin' you a favor

'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

Oh, It's all because I love you

And I can't stop thinkin' of you

And it never woulda worked out anyway