[Britney] Eh, uncle Bernard?

[Bernard] What's that Britney, my beautiful niece?

[Britney] Eh, what was it like growin' up in Lancashire all those years ago?

[Bernard] Well, in a song similar to one off the first album, let me tell ya

Growin' up in Lancashire were the best

Watchin' Rambo on pirate VHS

Back to the Future 2

Sylvester McCoy were Doctor Who

To be honest, he weren't very good

Strummin' away learning guitar wi' me Plectrum

Or risk go skiing on me ZX Spectrum

Sinitta and Jive Bunny

Lenny Henry, well, he was still funny

That was a long time ago

Uncle Bernard, you're my favourite relation (Aww, that's very sweet of ya)

But are you sure you've been taking your medication (Well, Gaviscon, yeah)

Uncle Bernard, uncle Bernard, we don't wish to sound mean (Well don't!)

But this sounds like one of Peter Kay's routines (You cheeky little blighter!)

Pat Sharp's hair wasn't so ridiculous

Freddy Mercury's 'tash weren't that conspicuous (Nobody knew back then!)

MTV was still showin' vids

You could still leave Michael Jackson wi' yer kids

It seems like a lifetime ago

No such thing as wireless networks or USB hubs

Believe it or not, you could still smoke in pubs (Can remember)

Everyone loved Samantha Fox (Phwoar)

Michael Barrymore was still allowed on the box

Oh, that'll never happen again

Uncle Bernard (Yes?)

Please don't hate us (Well, how can I? Look at your little faces)

But you sound like you're on I love the 80s (Ooh, you'll feel the back of my hand in a minute)

Uncle Bernard, uncle Bernard, you're rambling (I don't think I am)

Does auntie Jean know about your drinking and your gambling? (Woah, you just leave your auntie Jean out of this, right)

Uncle Bernard (Yes?)

Uncle Bernard (Aww!)

Uncle Bernard (Ho-ho! Cheeky!)

Uncle Bernard (Oh hey! What's happened there Britney? Something's dropped)