I would like to apologize for my friend here

He hasn't been himself for a long, long time

From the beginning of his minding other people's dids and don'ts

He could excuse himself, but he won't, and I'm sorry if we busted up your party

Yes, there was a girl in his life, and then some, and then some

He was had by her and a good time by all

She was exactly half at fault, he thought the other was his own

So only half the man has grown

And it's taking him sometime to get together

He was the first kid on his block to have one

And he wants to share it with you, all of the time

He takes advantage of your kindness, says he needs that just to live

He doesn't want you to forgive him

But he thinks you might if you have half a mind to

Yes, I think I would enjoy some coffee

I've had a lot to think in the past few days

And if I told you all the ways my friend and I were not to blame

You'd see yourself as just the same

So I think I'll wait and save that for the next time