My husband came home Friday with a brand new motor car

He told me I could drive it I said Brian your a star

We drove down to the boozer for a vodka and a fag

Then of course we had celebrate the purchase with a shag

We'd go dogging

We'd go dogging

We're a treat for any passers by out jogging

We do it cos we've found that when people crowd around

It is somehow more profound when your dogging

(Spoken)

Oh now well some of the older members of the audience my have a little bit of difficulty with this one

I just say hang on in there and think the meaning will shine through

Bill how are you doing

Anyhow if you are still a little bit in the dark at the end

Just ask a young person or emm...Google

Just don't take your computer for repair immediately afterwards

(Sung)

Well we drove down to the far end of the car park back of Asda

A Threesome was hard at it in a sporty little Mazda

It made it more exciting as they pressed against the glass

And when Brian got his torch out you could see right up her arse

They were dogging

They were dogging

Believe me they were more than merely snogging

But though her cheeks were parted she spoilt it when she farted

And we wanted to get started on OUR dogging

(Spoken)

Now how are the older members doing now

Not finding it too impenetrable

Those of a sensitive disposition...leave now

(Sung)

Well we rushed back too our car cos we were randy as two goats

But being late November we had on our duffle coats

We should have stripped off first before getting back inside

Cos disrobing in a smart car isn't easy have YOU tried

We were dogging

We were dogging

In the struggle poor old Brian tore his frogging

Our apparel was misguided cos when our heads collided

Brian's manhood then subsided but that's dogging

Well I admit this was a set back but i wasn't beaten yet

Cos I'm really very handy with my man's beef bayonet

I quickly had his flagpole up responding to my touch

And next thing I was upside down and staring at the clutch

We were dogging

We were dogging

The heat was on to stop the windows fogging

Thank god for plastic sheeting well one must protect the seating

Cos the fabric takes a beating when your dogging

Well by now a crowd had gathered it was cheering fit to burst

An Bri was close to peeking tough he likes me to come first

My legs were out the sunroof as I really hit my stride

Then Brian promptly stopped and cried THE ROZZERS ARE OUTSIDE

We were dogging

We were dogging

We were so alarmed our arteries were clogging

But we took it on chin when the copper with a grin said

Can anyone join in with your dogging

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well as you can imagine Bri and I were thrilled to bits

I love to feel a coppers truncheon in between my tits

My ecstasy was mounting I was feeling so alive

When who should wander by but a bloke from channel 5

He likes dogging

HE likes dogging

He signed us for a series he was flogging

So watch out for Bri and me and the odd Celebrity

We were shagging on TV likely dogging

Oh we'll be dogging

We'll be dogging

Oh Think of all the lime light we'll be hogging

Well the credits show my hand massaging Brian's Gland

The Presenter's Russell Brand lovely dogging