Makin' Whoopee

Everytime I hear that dear old wedding march

I feel rather glad I have a broken arch

I have heard a lot of married people talk

And I know that marriage is a long long walk

To most people weddings mean romance

But I prefer a picnic or a dance

Another bride, another groom

The countryside is all in bloom

The flowers and treeses, the birds and beeses

Are making whoopee

The choir sing, "Here comes the bride."

Another victim is by her side

He's lost his reason 'cause it's the season

For making whoopee

Down through the countless ages

You'll find it everywhere

Somebody makes good wages

Somebody wants her share

She calls him 'Toodles' and rolls her eyes

She makes him strudels and bakes him pies

What is it all for? It's so he'll fall for

Making whoopee

Another year or maybe less

What's this I hear? Well, can't you guess?

She feels neglected and he's suspected

Of making whoopee

She sits alone most every night

He doesn't phone or even write

He says he's busy, but she says, "Is he?"

He's making whoopee

He doesn't make much money

Five thousand dollars per

Some judge who thinks he's funny

Says, "You'll pay six to her."

He says, "Now judge, suppose I fail?"

The judge says, "Bub, right into jail

You'd better keep her, you'll find it's cheaper

Than making whoopee."