Winters were the hardest

You were allergic to my chapstick

And the zipper on your jacket always stuck

I disregarded

The emergence of the cracks and I just blamed it on a patch of rotten luck

Forgive me if I wanna cut ties for the moment

Cus I couldn't call my own bluff

I'm going through life partly broken

I hoped we'd grow together

Feels like I used you as a step ladder

Pulling towards my dreams and pushing you away

And if you're gone forever

In 20 years I hope I still matter

I know I'll never be the same

Climbing up

Off your love

At the top

Look down and you're a million miles away

Springtime in the garden

I knew exactly how to act

And yet the force that held me back was just too strong

Wish I'd been charming

Just like I had been in the past

When we'd have coffee after class

But I was not

Capable of slowing down time at the moment

So I couldn't call my own bluff

I'm pushing through life partly broken

I hoped we walk together

Feels like I used you as a stepladder

Pulling towards my dreams and pushing you away

And if you're gone forever

In 40 years I hope I still matter

I'll never be the same

Climbing up

Off your love

At the top

Look down and you're a million miles away

You were the royal flush

After us

I haven't even got an ace

Summer seems alarming

I'll keep referring to the past as if my future ever asked

What do I want?

I'll try to bargain

That if I ever got you back

I'd patch up every little crack

And we'd move on