Tombstone Blues (Live)

Well, the sweet pretty things are in bed now, of course

The city fathers they’re trying to endorse

The reincarnation of Paul Revere’s horse

But the town has no need to be nervous

That Belle Starr she hands down her wits

To Jezebel the nun she violently knits

A bald wig for Jack the Ripper who sits

At the head of the chamber of commerce

Mama’s in the fact’ry, she ain’t got no shoes

Daddy’s in the alley, he’s lookin’ for the fuse

I’m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues

We're standing in the penny arcade

Screaming she moans, “I’ve just been made”

Send for the doctor who pull down the shade

Saying, “Don't let the boys in”

Well, the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside

Walks with a swagger and he says to the bride

“Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride

You won't die, it’s not poison”

Mama’s in the fact’ry, she ain’t got no shoes

Daddy’s in the alley, lookin’ hard for the fuse

I’m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues

John the Baptist after torturing a thief

Looks up at his hero the Commander-in-Chief

“Tell me great hero, but please make it brief

Is there a hole for me to get sick in?”

Well, he Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly, “Death to all those who would whimper and cry”

And dropping a barbell he points to the sky

“The sun’s not yellow it’s chicken”

Well, Mama’s in the fact’ry, she ain’t got no shoes

Daddy’s in the hallway, he’s lookin’ hard for the fuse

I’m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, well

Where Ma Rainey and Beethoven once unwrapped their bedroll

Tuba players now rehearse around the flagpole

And the National Bank at a profit sells road maps for the soul

To the old folks home and the college

Well, I wish I could write you a melody so plain

That could hold you dear lady from goin' insane

That could ease you and cool you and cease the pain

Of your useless and pointless knowledge

Mama’s in the fact’ry, she ain’t got no shoes

Daddy’s in the hallway, lookin’ hard for the fuse

I’m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, ah yeah