As a young man I said to my father

"I'm leaving here today

I've got my meager means all packed

And I'm going to make my own way"

"It's nothing you have done and there is nothing you can say"

"I'm going to Hell

Any way that I can

I'm going to Hell

For I am an honest man

I'm going to Hell

Come catch me if you can"

The first few steps were hardest

As I set out for the West

The weight of my expectations

Lay like suet in my chest

But naivete is no one's fool, naivete knows best

I'm going to Hell

Any way that I can

I'm going to Hell

For I am an innocent man

I'm going to Hell

Come catch me if you can

(So) I picked up a guitar

And I learned to hold a tune

Wrote a couple of songs and a poem or two

On a rainy afternoon

Three chords and a handful of metaphors ripped off from Mills & Boon

I'm going to Hell

Any way that I can

I'm going to Hell

For I am an earnest man

I'm going to Hell

Come catch me if you can

I hide myself away

Behind this mask of pretty words

The longer that I wear it

The less it feels absurd

A cargo cult confessional like Robert Frost stuck in third

{Instrumental Bridge}

The shape of the thing is not the thing

Is the lesson that I learned

You can't cross a bridge when you come to it

If all your bridges have been burned

An early bird in the hand is worth a bush full of worms

And there's a special place in Hell...

For the lyrically infirm...

I'm going to Hell

Any way that I can

I'm going to Hell

For I am a cynical man

I'm going to Hell

Come catch me if you can

I'm going to Hell

As quickly as I can

I'm going to Hell

I am a glib old charlatan

I'm going to Hell

Come catch me if you can