With astounding grace, I'll forget your face

Accidental she hasn't noticed me

We will never be

I'd like to be as articulate as Mr. L

Writing songs about Barbara of Seville

Such a wonderful way with a pen when he's feeling unwell

I only sing about things that happen to me

I never learnt how to fill my songs with allegory

While my peers paid attention in English, I thought about how

I could undress the girl who appeared in my life with a "pow"

Never mind that she slipped from my hand, because look at me now

Stir that dish with a spoon I found on the street

Every boy needs a meal that's protein replete

Sometimes I would faint in the days when I didn't eat meat

We soon lost count of the meals we had at your place

I stand and wash but the food won't come off my face

A pan of plain soup and a piece of stale bread in the bowl

A rusty meringue and a slice of a pig on a roll

Oh, the things we could eat if a casserole dish had a soul

He fled this town for a quiet house by the sea

A lesser risk of a chance encounter with me

Does he realise that I relocated in January?

A curving glance from a man on Charing Cross Road

A signal that I will have to write my own code

Long ago, when I used to be friends with a boy I betrayed

I was evil, how dare I end up with the one that he craved

But it turned out alright 'cause she's been by my side for an age