Half of Everything

My baby said it's over she don't love me anymore She took the ring off of her finger said I'm filin' for divorce She started runnin' round the house puttin' her name on all my things Oh I get half of your records, from Mellencamp to Zeppelin And half of your stupid baseball card collection I get half of your gee-tars the Martin and the Gibson And half of those rods that you use for fishin' Oh I get half of the house and everything that's in it Half of everything Well I said baby you're crazy go and do what you need to do But don't forget that I get half of your stuff too I started runnin' round the house puttin' my name on all her things Oh I get half of your shoes high heels and leather boots And half of those designer bags you think are so darn cute I get half of your jewelry the diamonds and the pearls And half of those rollers you use to make your curls Oh I get half of the house and everything that's in it Half of everything We came to a peaceful resolution Like grown-ups often do We divided everything Evenly in two Oh I got 30 inches of our 60-inch TV She got the dryer I got the washin' machine Oh and she got the right side of our double bed And don't forget the dog oh we each got half of him We got half of the house and everything that's in it Half of everything We got half of the house and everything that's in it Half of everything