The Slowest Rendition

I can hear those ringing bells again

Carefully I check to see if I'm awake

A formless mass that would not hold its form

A crucial deviation from the norm

To think I once would've welcomed in delight

This chaos that flickers in the night

I'm a passive audience at best

Sentient and awake, for that I'm blessed

Words and thoughts that once were my stock in trade

Are strewn about like broken toys, mislaid

Melodies and remedies and kindly advice

I put them where I'll find them when the time is right

A flash of light illuminates and gives me chills

Maybe I'm just a stand in for some greater ills

Maybe someone's pulling at my strings

I reach above my head and don't feel a thing

I throw and clash and rip and tear the scenery

That only I and nobody else can see

Mocked by something just beyond my reach

On a silenced, barren, darkening empty beach

They say that newborns experience their scenes

Like psilocybin lysergic psychedelic dreams

So, just like them I'm ready to be born again

Who can say for sure, who can say just when

I close my eyes, I know that I'll soon sleep

The waking hours and questions slowly seep

Into one another, in my mind they smother

The tenuous reality, sneaking up on me

I can hear those bells again

I can hear those bells again

I can hear those bells again

A descending ending

An ascending of the saint

I will wrangle and wrestle

Until suddenly it all feels the same

Count the irregular heartbeat

But the same dreams keep hanging on

Call on the zombie damage

But the same dream comes undone

I am the derelict conductor

Of the broken symphony

I'm the amateur director

Of the badly lit mystery

Keep moving the pieces

Keep shuffling the deck

Keep singing the chorus

Of the slowest rendition

Keep moving the pieces

Keep shuffling the deck

Keep singing the chorus

Of the slowest rendition

Keep moving the pieces

Keep moving the pieces

Keep moving the pieces

Of the slowest rendition

Keep moving the pieces

Keep moving the pieces

Keep moving the pieces

Of the slowest rendition