Do I Deserve It

I can only take a compliment from a stranger I don't trust the people who are closest to me To tell the truth 'Cause what if they're just saving my feelings? And they pity me So they just say what's nice I enjoy abuse Because if you're mean to me I can trust you'll tell the truth I enjoy abuse 'Cause I feel like I deserve it Do I deserve it? Do I deserve it? I crave affection constantly, but thеn once I get it I'll remain unsatisfiеd And there's nothing I can do to fill the hole That's gaping inside me That is there because I have no real self worth I enjoy abuse Because if you're mean to me I can trust you'll tell the truth I enjoy abuse 'Cause I feel like I deserve it Do I deserve it? Do I deserve it? I've had so many friends Who've left me on a whim Suddenly cut ties for reasons that I can't explain And yet I end up feeling I'm the one to blame 'Cause if everybody loved me I must be doing something wrong, right? It's the only thing I think of at night People shouldn't make the same mistake twice But I enjoy abuse