Gee, Officer Krupke

Oh, look at yous You feckless friggin' disappointments Now give me one good reason I shouldn't throw the book at ya Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke You gotta understand It's just our bringin' upke That gets us out of hand Our mothers all are junkies Our fathers all are drunks Golly Moses, naturally we're punks! Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset We never had the love that every child oughta get We ain't no delinquents We're misunderstood Deep down inside us, there is good! There is good! There is good, there is good There is untapped good Like inside, the worst of us is good Oh, that's a touching good story Let me tell it to the world! Just tell it to the judge Dear kindly Judge, your Honor My parents treat me rough With all their marijuana They won't give me a puff They didn't wanna have me But somehow I was had Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad! Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a square This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed He's psychologically disturbed! I'm disturbed! We're disturbed, we're disturbed We're the most disturbed Like we're psychologically disturbed Ye, ye hear ye In the opinion on this court The boy's depraved on account he ain't had a normal home Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived! My father is a bastard My ma's an S.O.B. My grandpa's always plastered My grandma pushes tea My sister wears a mustache My brother wears a dress Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! Yes! Officer Krupke, you're really a slob This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologically he's sick! I am sick! We are sick, we are sick We are sick, sick, sick Like we're sociologically sick! In my professional opinion What we've got here is a run-of-the-mill juvenile delinquent And juvenile delinquency is a social disease He's got a social disease? Bring him to a social worker Wait, can I catch it by catching him? Dear kindly social worker They say go earn a buck Like be a soda jerker Which means like be a schmuck It's not I'm anti-social I'm only anti-work Gloryosky, that's why I'm a jerk! Eek! Officer Krupke, you've done it again This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen It ain't just a question of misunderstood Deep down inside him, he's no good! I'm no good! We're no good, we're no good! We're no earthly good Like the best of us is no damn good! The trouble is he's crazy The trouble is he drinks The trouble is he's lazy The trouble is he stinks The trouble is he's growing The trouble is he's grown Krupke, we got troubles of our own! Gee, Officer Krupke We're down on our knees 'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease Gee, Officer Krupke What are we to do? Gee, Officer Krupke Krup you!