Um, It's Kind of a Lot

I'm afraid of leaving my house I'm afraid of dying of cancer I'm afraid of black sedans, white vans, and computers I'm afraid of losing my mind I'm afraid of windows and airplanes I'm afraid of my past, my fans, and my future But I never been afraid of no one breaking my heart It's not like I'm 'bout to fall and cut my throat on the shards And I'm afraid of damn near everything All my life's a panic trip, a rocket ship to planet schizoid Hold me like a tourniquet, and I'll you, like an iron maiden I've grown used to fear But no, not to you yet, my dear Oh, I love you so much it scares me half to death I'm not used to this How did it happen, baby? Oh, I love you so much it scares me half to death The other half, I guess, I'm giving to you Oh, baby Oh, I'm afraid that you'll change your mind I'm afraid there's somebody better I'm afraid of four-letter words, like "love", "for" And "ever", or whatever And I'm afraid you'll notice all my flaws I'm afraid you already have, obviously And I'm afraid I'll come on too strong Hold you too tight and scare you too But I never been afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve At least to prove I'm weak and if you cut me I'll bleed Could you be the light my X-rays need? All my life's a Duchovny role Oh, Gillian, you won't believe this Spit me out, you don't know where I've been Hold me at claw's length, baby I'm not used to fear of losing something I hold dear Oh, I love you so much it scares me half to death I'm not used to this How did it happen, baby? Oh, I love you so much it scares me half to death The other half I guess I'm giving to you Oh, baby! I'll twist my words: a clever turn of phrase Sorry, darling, please excuse my Constant need to self-aggrandize Coddling my narcissism M.A.D. come ride my A-bomb While I beg you to say I'm okay So here's one last lyric to sum up these Thoughts I struggled to come up with To make me sound deep and smart and Then I promise I'll shut up Wait, let me think Hold on, I got this Anything but "I'm in love with you" I love you so much it scares me half to death How should I put this How did this happen, baby? Oh, I love you so much it scares me half to death The other half I guess I'm giving to you Oh, baby!