The Twelve Pains of Christmas

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is finding a Christmas tree The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Five months of bills Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Facing my in-laws Five months of bills Oh, I hate those Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up these lights And finding a Christmas tree The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me The Salvation Army Facing my in-laws Five months of bills Sending Christmas cards Oh, geez (I'm tryin' to rig up these lights) And finding a Christmas tree The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me I wanna Transformer for Christmas Charities, and what do you mean your in-laws? Five months of bills Oh, making out these cards Honey, get me a beer, huh? What, we have no extension cords? And finding a Christmas tree The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Finding parking spaces Daddy, I want some candy Donations (facing my in-laws) Five months of bills Writing out those Christmas cards Hangovers (now why the hell are they blinking?) And finding a Christmas tree The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me "Batteries not Included" (no parking spaces) Buy me somethin' (get a job, ya bum) (Oh, facing my in-laws) five months of bills Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards Oh, geez, look at this One light goes out, they all go out And finding a Christmas tree The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me Stale TV specials ("batteries not included") No parking spaces (dad, I gotta go to the bathroom) Charities (she's a witch, I hate her) Five months of bills Oh, I don't even know half these people Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh? (Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse) And finding a Christmas tree The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me Singing Christmas carols (stale TV specials) "Batteries not included" (no parking?) Charities (waah, waah) (gotta make 'em dinner) Five months of bills I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it Shut up, you- (fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights) And finding a Christmas tree