"Have It Your Way."

Have it your way, have it your way

You know what my way is?

Hot

How 'bout a hamburger that's fuckin' hot!?

Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts!

Dick! You still there babe?

Sorry about that

Ten miles from the airport, I'm startin' to lose it here

Stay with me, baby, talk me down

You know, Dick—

In this, the waning hours of your administration

It seems appropriate to look back at your long years of public service

And to conclude that as our President, you really bit the big one

Wazoo city babe, what can I say?

And you know what—this cracks me up—I voted for you

Yes, I gave you my vote, my sacred democratic trust

And you know what you did?

You pissed all over it!

Ah, what the hell, guys like you, you piss all over everything

You piss all over the country, you piss all over yourselves

You piss all over me

Yeah, yeah I know

"Sam, don't say it!

You're my main man

Guys like you, you're the backbone of the nation

Sammy—"

Shut up Dick!

I'm talkin' now!

Alright!

I'm talkin' and you're listenin'!

Here. Have you seen the papers lately?

Grandma lives in packing crate

Sewage closes Jersey beaches

Saudi prince buys Howard Johnsons

What the hell is goin' on here, Dick!?

It wasn't supposed to be like this

It wasn't, but it is

And schmucks like you, you're tellin' us it isn't?

"Everything's fine, it's great, it's Miller time"

What Miller time!?

The woods are burnin', Dick

What can we do?

We want to make things better

How?

"Let's hold an election"

Great

The Democrat says he'll fix everything the Republicans fucked up

The Republican says he'll fix everything the Democrats fucked up

Who's tellin' us the truth?

Who's lyin'?

Someone's lyin'—who?

We read, we guess, we argue

But deep down we know that we don't know

How can we?

Oil embargos, megatons, holes in the ozone—

Who can understand this crap?

We need to believe, to trust, like little kids

That someone wants what's best for us

That someone's lookin' out for us, that someone loves us

Do they?

No, they lie to us

They lie about what's right, they lie about what's wrong

They lie about the fuckin' hamburgers!

And when we realize they're lying

Really realize it in our gut

Then we get scared

Then we get terrified

Like children waking in the dark, we don't know where we are

"I had a bad dream

Mommy, Daddy, Sammy had a nightmare"

And then Daddy comes and takes me in his arms and says

"It's okay Sammy, Daddy's here

I love you kid

Your mommy doesn't, but I do"

And then Mommy comes and holds me tight and says

"I gotcha bubula

I'm here for you

Your daddy isn't, but I am"

And then where are we?

Who do we believe?

Who do we trust?

What do we do?

We do the only thing we can do

We kill the President