Channel Surfing

Footed on the stage, bright lights hot Glitter on my face, anxious palms You could never be Hung up on these thoughts, sabotage You don't got the vibe or the style You could never be Truth is never what we perceive Still these ugly words eat at me You could never be Heavy in the room, quiet in the air Waiting for the cue, staring at my hands Now the band begins Take your time to seek your reasons All you have to give Off the stepping stone watch me leave uninhibited, unafraid How can it feel this way Some guy buys a round, but I don't even drink unless its top-shelf whiskey I don't really care, I just wanna go home and forget we played this awful show Roll up a spliff, it was just a bad night, write a new song about feeling alright Mixes come back, but the vocals fall flat, and tonight we owe the venue Right on the brink of giving it up, 'cause trusting the process might not be enough Constantly thinking of where I should be, but I guess life's not this linear thing Is it only me questioning Tear out the pages of notebooks I've written The words and the doodles are somebody else It's not a surprise to be growing up older But now I forget what I wanted to be A singer, a dancer, a writer perhaps An artist with passion; a visionary Am I still believing in all my desires Or have they run amok Taking the wheel on my fantasy drive And steering me closer to why I'm alive Drifting and swerving while nodding along Open your mind to me Am I the impostor I've always suspected? I guess I'll never know And why should I care if this music's for me, and not to make me cool