Greg's Drinking Song (feat. Santino Fontana)

Gather ye round And I'll tell you a tale Of all the great times I've had with an ale There's joy and there's glory More then you can think Yes, this is what happens to me when I drink I pee my pants, my pants I pee my pants I get up from the bar to find pee on my pants I say it's water but all it takes is a glance For people to realise I peed my pants Wow! I did not know it was that bad! Yes, wine can be fun White, Rosè and Red Til I call up my boss to say I wish he was dead Chase down the regret with some Gin for good luck Then steal my cousin Jim's landscaping truck Drive home then I puke on my cat, my cat I puke on my cat I fall through the doorway And puke on my cat Poor little Bruno did not expect that I try for the toilet but puke on my cat While some can enjoy A scotch with a steak Or one glass of wine Then they're barely awake For me it's much different What happens when I try to have one, it just turns into ten And then... I fly a plane, a plane I fly a plane I knock on the cockpit shouting, "I'll fly this plane" We emergency landed, the TSA came Now I'm banned from South West Cos I tried to fly planes Everybody! He had sex with a bush, a bush He had sex with a bush That wasn't a woman?? No, it was a bush It had twigs and leaves Cos it was a bush That's where that scar comes from! From sexing a bush But he's breaking the cycle And making a push He's winning his drinking And saving his pants and his cat And South West and Jim's Truck And my car! My car too! And a buuuuush