What Is It Like to Have Children?

One time, my mother told me Before she was born Her mother had a fever dream About her earthly arrival A bright and brilliant moon had just ascended from above On their house, in a small Korean fishing town This story informs much of my point of view Of having children and the general experience of parenting And middle-aged hubris and naivety aside I've always wanted children someday With a good husband in my life Hey, I'd like to cook for you And clean up after you I could do the diaper changes and the late visits to the doctor Lullabies hummed in the dark in the middle of the night And that silent glow Of you My husband's brother has some children of his own Two strong-willed teenagers in their adolescent years That probably is an awkward unrestrained exuberance I'd like to be a good uncle, or a wise mentor To both of them It fills me with fear and wonder at the very thought Of having precious children of my very own Will I be the World's Number 1 Father Like it says on the coffee mug Or will they still resent me for something I did Many years ago? Oh, I would comfort you And lay to rest your fears I would punch the soccer dad who yelled at you at the pizza party I would try to muster unconditional love if I could Like a she-bear roaring loudly in the woods Where I grew up, in Missouri God bless my mom and dad Who did the best they could In raising us three brothers In a strange and foreign country Though I've come to detest some of his convictions as of late And we have had arguments Over kitchen tables and the TV It sits like some baggage in the middle of my head Like centuries of violence and domesticated warfare Though I'd like you to meet him, When you are just a little older In truth, he is a great man Though I'd never tell him that directly Oh, I would nurture you And watch you live and grow I would make you independent Like my father made me And I wouldn't spoil you, like those Park Avenue parents do Whose children won't grow big and strong As an Evergreen Tree Like you will Sometimes I'm fearful of the dangers in the world And bringing up a child in our tumultuous times Last week, a stranger broke into the building at midnight And every day the fires rage in streets and forests Rest of us I still have hope for the future, all things considered Even in these strange and still tumultuous times Every day I try to be a little better person than yesterday And every day the fire still burns deep In the heart of the temple For you Oh, could I cherish you And love you more than even myself? Could I be a great and mighty fortress, never failing? And could I do better than my father did, before me? Oh, I don't know I don't know I don't know I'm excited by it, though