These Drugs

I don't wanna do drugs anymore If you saw me through the eyes of a bathroom stall Your skin would crawl I'm high But I am not a sycophant for a good time I only wanted to escape my mind For one night, know what happiness feels like But the nightmare I'm ignoring Is darker in the morning It's a band-aid on a broken arm A siren sounding out alarm A fucked-up version of self-harm And it's louder than a cry for help When I destroy my mental health Because I don't respect myself Every time I take these drugs to pick me up All I ever do is cry Every time I take these drugs to pick me up All I ever do is cry I don't wanna go to bed all alone So I let another stranger take me home I drink to numb the pain And you would do it too if you would share my brain Everybody that I love gets hurt And I'm learning to believe that I just deserve The demons I'm ignoring And the regret in the morning It's a fucking domino effect A prison cell inside my head A trauma that I can't forget And it's louder than a cry for help When I destroy my mental health Because I fucking hate myself Every time I take these drugs to pick me up All I ever do is cry Every time I take these drugs to pick me up All I ever do is Cry, cry I only ever Cry, cry I only ever Cry, cry I only ever Cry, cry I only ever Damned if I do and bored if I don't And I should get clean again but I won't I told you that I don't need help Because I lie to myself Damned if I do and bored if I don't And I should get clean again but I won't I wanna be someone else Because I'm scared of myself Sometimes I'm scared of myself Every time I take these drugs to pick me up All I ever do is cry Every time I take these drugs to pick me up All I ever do is Cry, cry I only ever Cry, cry I only ever Cry, cry I only ever Cry, cry I only ever cry