High School Party

High school party, senior year

Boys and girls, they're all sipping on beer

I like soda, where's the soda?

Am I the only fucking person here that likes soda?

I see her from across the crowd

I said, the party is bumping and the music is loud

You're really drunk and you're looking sad

It's like a date rape ad

Girl, then we start to dance and

Girl, baby, this is romance

Girl, I'm startin' to grow down below

Shit, why did I wear sweat pants?

Ooh yeah

Girl, you're body's like, what?

Conjunction junction, that's a fine ass butt

I'm like a cashew in a lollipop

Just keep sucking till you get to the nut

And I said, let's rob an Asian kitchen

Or stroll down the block

Either way, girl, we're taking a wok, it's

You're gonna love me the way my uncle did

Except you're not gonna go to court for doing it

Be a guillotine or my girl instead

Either way, I said, you're giving me head

I'm gonna love you, baby, the right way

Shorty with a body looking hotty when I say, girl

We go into the bedroom

Exchanging nervous laughter

Why is it called dry humping

If I always need a towel after?

You spread your naked legs

And I see that wound that never healed

Even though you're yelling for me

I can tell your lips are sealed

I've been around

We're both aware of my erection

You ask if I have protection

I say, no, I mean, I tried to buy 'em once

I was in the convenience store and my old babysitter walked in

I had to hide them near the Tic-Tacs

I was so embarrassed, I peed myself a little bit

Girl, girl, yeah, well, yeah

Insert a euphemism

A sexy mental prism

Increase my pelvic rhythm

Fill you with my syllogism

I know your body and I know how to please you

Don't thank me, thank Wikipedia

Guys don't go down, well I am

What the fuck is that? I should have brought my diagram

Ooh, did you feel that? That was an educated guess

Ooh yeah, did you feel that? Uh, that one was a sneeze, my bad

I'm allergic to one type of cat

High school party, senior year

None of that happened 'cause I wasn't invited