Awful

(Cole, you stupid) Oh, I've been broke down for so long, I've lost count Of the days I lost out, I couldn't be saved The silence is so loud, it's hard for me to show how There's some things about me that I just can't explain Three feet, halfway, still diggin' my grave How the fuck I'm supposed to change when I'm so used to being played? My mind stuck in a maze, I think I'm turnin' crazy Funny part about it, I tell you this shit everyday I admit that it's my fault and I know that's my loss When I break down and spiral, it's from the pain that I caused Well, I guess it's all my fault, and I guess it's all my loss But I don't need your sorrow 'cause I know that I'm awful, yeah I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love I'm awful, I admit it (I admit it) All these toxic inhibitions It's kinda like a drug fuckin' you up, I'm so addicted I know I'm twisted for all the times That I was duckin' and missin' yo' calls I was fuckin' on yo' best friend and breakin' her walls Took y'all to lunch Y'all was sharing y'all straws like you shared this dick (damn) That's some secondhand embarrassment You didn't even spare a second to realize I'm awful And really sick inside, pick a time I know I said I love you But just like everything I tell you, it's a lie Really got a twisted mind, I deny it every time But I love to see you cry, wish that I could tell you why (oh) And I mean it so sincerely (oh) Losing you has never feared me (oh) But at least, at least (oh) I admit that it's my fault and I know that's my loss When I break down and spiral, it's from the pain that I caused Well, I guess it's all my fault, and I guess it's all my loss But I don't need your sorrow 'cause I know that I'm awful, yeah I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love Me and trust don't get along, we too far gone, we parted ways I'm an old dirty bastard, shimmy ya, shimmy yay Gettin' ready for my casket and yo' heart is where I lay I'm done speaking on the past tense 'cause our future is erased Only stuck 'round for pleasure, I confess, you know I'm awful Haven't learned from your lessons Wonderin' what your mama taught you, 'cause it clearly ain't enough Do you hear me through my lust? I know pain is like a drug, it's interfering with the spirits up above The feelings for my love, but I told you, I know I admit that it's my fault and I know that's my loss When I break down and spiral, it's from the pain that I caused Well, I guess it's all my fault, and I guess it's all my loss But I don't need your sorrow 'cause I know that I'm awful, yeah I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love I always wanna fuck up love (Cole, you stupid)